One of the first sights to greet us upon our entrance to Utah was a bumper sticker loudly proclaiming the continued existence of George Hayduke, the fiery white trash hero of Edward Abbey's novels, "The Monkey Wrench Gang," and the eponymous, "Hayduke Lives." George Hayduke -- ecoterrorist, protector of deserts and would-be blaster of the Glen Canyon Dam -- this was his country. Now, it would be ours, too.
We pulled into the heat-blasted sunscape that is Arches National Park about noon, ready to hit the dusty trail. Fortified with sandwiches and sunscreen, we set out for a little jaunt through the desert to see a few of the natural arches for which, curiously enough, Arches National Park is named. After remarking to Kristanne about one arch that, "It was ok, you know, but not all that great. I've seen better," it became rapidly clear that I was becoming just a teensy bit spoiled. Kristanne gave me a reality check by whacking me upside the noggin with our water bottle. Ah. Better. This is nice, now that you point it out to me.
A few hours hiking in the heat of the desert was enough for two melanin-challenged denizens of the mossybacked Northwest Country. I was starting to shrivel. Besides, it was time for Otto to enjoy the fun. Ever since that lube job back in Boulder, Otto has been sort of champing at the bit, raring back and eager for action. He needed a challenge. We found one, as you can see by that sign to his left. They probably don't mean that little bit about, "4X4 Required," anyway. Just something to frighten off the tourists. We're not fooled.
We pulled back into Moab to make a few calls. Something or someone in Utah
is messing with our cell phone access, and it's making us crazy. We suspect
that fellow who ran the ISP back in Grand Junction. He
was awfully suspicious. Anyway, every time we try to call, we get this incredibly
smarmy male voice delivering the dreaded, "Message Six. Your call cannot be
completed at this time. Message Six. Message Six." I believe this is how Manson
brainwashed Squeaky Fromme -- prolonged exposure to tape-recorded phone company messages
would drive anyone to rash acts.
And, yes, I will try to pull the hep political references into at least the current decade from now on. For an alternative reference to the possibly-confusing Squeaky Fromme line, try this one on for size: "I believe this is how Democratic advisers convinced Dukakis that it would be a good idea to ride around in a tank and let people take his picture -- prolonged exposure to tape-recorded phone company messages would drive anyone to rash acts." Any better? Oh, shoot -- I'm only in the 80's, aren't I? In the future, I'll make sure to have all references vetted for generational comprehensibility, and possibly even offer up alternatives for folks who need them. For the time being, please bear with me.
So, before Sid "The Human Tangent" went off with his nonsensical ramblings, I'm pretty sure we were in Moab to make some telephone calls, since the cell phone had fallen prey to the nefarious doings of an ISP entrepreneur in Grand Junction, Colorado. This stuff happens all the time, you know -- it just never gets reported. Anyway, telephone calls were made, and we hied off into the wonders of Canyonlands National Park. Now, at this point, you're probably wondering how can we ever afford the usurious toll all these National Park visits must be exacting on our pocketbooks? How indeed? Easy, brothers and sisters -- the Golden Eagle pass. For $50, you get a year's worth of entrances to all the National Parks. At an average entrance fee of $10/park, this is a whale of a deal. Canyonlands put us over the top, financially-speaking -- the Golden Eagle has now more than paid for itself at the end of three weeks of our twelve week journey.
Hey, apropos of nothing, here's Today's Scenic Shot! This is the creek we camped
next to up by Oowah Lake. Dig that funky color composition by Kristanne. She's
done this one as a bit of an homage to the Hudson River School landscape
painters, I believe. You'd have to ask her to be sure, though.
Canyonlands was quite impressive. It's a huge park with only limited paved road access. With the exception of an 100 mile 4X4 road that takes two days to traverse, there are no through roads in the park -- only spurs that take you into different areas of the park. We went to the Island in the Sky portion of the park, to look down at the canyons formed by the joining of the Colorado and Green Rivers, were mightily impressed, and then left, westbound at 4:00 in the afternoon.
We had intended to stop in a modestly sized town in mid-Utah and rest up at a motel with some easy dial-up internet access. Unfortunately, by the time we got to the exit, Kristanne's teeth had reached full clench and her eyes were sporting that distant glaze that means she won't stop driving until you pry her hands off the wheel and forcibly remove her from the van. So, we drove another 120 miles past our intended stopping place and stayed the night in Panguitch, Utah, in preparation for tomorrow's assault on Bryce Canyon and Zion National Parks. Ahhh, the Golden Eagle...how it's noble wings doth soothe our souls.
Time for the Extreme Shot of the Day! Now, some of you may have been reading in the last few episodes how Otto the Love Van can turn even the most staid of subjects into a seething caldron of lust. We're not sure how this sign read before we got to Arches National Park, but we can tell you that we are more than a little concerned about the direction education is taking in our public places. All this talk about members and tongues leaves us with more than a few trepidations about the moral fiber we're showing future generations. It's a slippery slope from this sign to Richard Simmons jiggling in his jogging shorts in front of a classroom of innocent young minds. Vote your conscience, I tell you!
Total Miles for 6/20 = 403!
With Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park in between! Don't laugh -- it can be done.