Texas is a great place -- folks are friendly and often bring beer. People in Austin are particularly notable for this feature -- we pulled into a roadside parking lot to check our map when the fellow up top made himself manifest. Brimming with beery ebullience, this good-natured soul proffered a couple Bud Lights, directions to an open apartment where we could stay, and even offered me the Hawaiian print shirt off his back, claiming a mite disturbingly that he had "tons more where that one came from."
Before we could say, "thank you kind stranger," this fellow threw his Hawaiian shirt at me, changed into a blindingly-yellow polo shirt with a J&B Scotch Logo ("$1.49 with five proofs-of-purchase, man, can't beat it!"), and perched his chattering self in Otto's backseat, complete with girlfriend, beer at the ready. "Whatchyoo wanna do, see, is take a left here on Guadalupe, head on down to that apartment complex that burned down back there in '90, and we'll have us a good old time down there, I tell ya. Got friends, got margaritas, got a pool -- y'all are gonna love it. So great...'s just the best, man." |
We were worried, but what could we do? We were trapped -- all egress was blocked by his nimble girlfriend ("Jill," he called her, but we're pretty sure that's not her real name, since we saw a tattoo reading "Mistress of Insight" on her shoulder.). The next move was his. He mumbled something about, "if you would seek true knowledge, go to the river and drink it at one draught. Then, go have a piece of pie with the Knowing One. Are we out of beer?"
With that, we were off to a fearsome destination -- the long hall of the Knowing One. There, all secrets would be revealed.
Mysterious words of untold portent. Hints of secret wisdom just beyond mortal reach. This is the stuff of a visit to Austin. We whispered conspiratorially, hoping for the scrap of insight that might spring us from the hall of this misbegotten Mountain King. |
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Salvation, however, was not forthcoming. We found ourself in a long hall,
huddled together with other supplicants seeking knowledge. They all wanted
to eat from the Knowing One's Pie of Truth. They also wanted some barbequed
brisket, if there was any left. Our flower-printed benefactor from the morning approached the Knowing One first, and inquired as to the availability of beer. With a lightning flick of his bejeweled fingers, the Knowing One proceeded to unwind the mind and rethread the head of Beerboy, casting him head-on into the all-loving light of satori -- enlightenment. There you see him, the empty vessel now filled, the unfinished now complete. It was beautiful, man. |
It was beautiful, but it was also over. The Knowing One retired shortly thereafter to his Chamber of Relaxation where he remained for the duration of our stay in the long hall. We were left to seek knowledge for ourselves, weary pilgrims still.
We're staying in Austin for a few days. Kristanne's Maid of Honor, the esteemed and significant JoAnn Takasaki is coming up from Houston with her boyfriend, and we shall all take in the wonders of Texas together. Then, it's a 30,000 mile service for Otto, and we're on the road again, heading for New Orleans. See you along the way!
Total Miles for 7/4 = About 70