The Odyssey Today

What's Wrong With This Picture?

But, soft -- what dork from yonder bedroom breaks? It is Sid, and Interstate 280 is the sun, clouded with likeminded commuters though it may be. Might as well face the facts -- I'm going to work. Going to be at work. With other workers. Back with the huddled masses, nestled in my soft-walled office, without Kristanne, without Otto. Maybe I can launch a revolt? After all, we have nothing to lose but our chains. Well, that and our 401K plans. And our coffee room privileges. Ah, to heck with the revolt -- I suddenly feel like spending a few hours discussing our company's latest stock price, or maybe just last night's episode of 'NYPD Blue.' That show's pretty good, huh?

This parking lot sucks. I want to drive. The call of the open road has temporarily fallen on deaf ears as I take care of some business at my employer's Menlo Park, California site. This is not odd. I try to visit corporate headquarters about once every five weeks, to keep my face fresh enough there to inspire recognition but not revulsion. Five weeks does that nicely.

Notice Otto's doleful disposition, though? He's not very happy about having to spend the day with a bunch of econo-boxes in a corporate parking lot, instead of being out there on the freeway, roughnecking his way through another marathon day. Otto is pretty much a badass. Plus, he gets ok gas mileage for being so big.

All Roads Lead to Work It is always odd coming back onsite after a time away -- firstly, I'm excited about seeing friends and acquaintances, generally immersing myself in the socialization that the workplace affords. Then, I feel a little bit of guilt for being able to work the way I do, though typically that doesn't last very long. In fact, I'm usually ready to rub that in to my buddies by the time I've had my first sip of coffee. Then, finally, I feel a little bit of dread for all the things I don't miss about the workplace -- the politics, the meetings, the bureaucratic folderol, the meetings. Things seem to get done so much more quickly without coworkers and the various quotidian uselessnesses of the workplace.

Meet Lodro De Wang Working in Otto has been great for these workplace bothers. Since Kristanne is with me, I don't feel nearly the loneliness that I did during the times when it was just me, the apartment, the cats, and the guys in my Quake Clan (word to the Hellbringing Wrathmonkeys!). Plus, Otto isn't a bad conversationalist himself. I'm still afflicted by a little bit of guilt about being able to Extreme Telecommute, but it's a price I'll gladly pay for the freedom. And, of course, in Otto there are no bureaucrats. The legendary (though thwarted) Chipmunk Putsch of June 13th, 1997 in a campground outside Laramie, Wyoming, was the last we've seen of any attempts to impose outside order on this Odyssey. And I swear to you, from where the sun now stands forever, we shall meet steel with steel if the need arises again! This is our troth!

As a final reminder of what the workplace can do to you, we provide today's Extreme Shot of the Day. This is where they put you when you don't telecommute. Keep that in mind as you plan your own Odyssey -- the alternatives are not at all attractive.

Where's the fish?

Join us tomorrow as we work onsite again! I'll try to get action photos of annoying cube behavior -- the camper, the scratcher, the book stealer. I know about these behaviors since they've pretty much all been attributed to me at one time or another. It's one of the reasons my employer was so receptive to my telecommuting. Hey! That sounds like advice: Be Offensive, Be A Telecommuter. Let me know if it works, ok?

Total Miles for 6/24 = 91. Ahhh, this commuting life. I bet it's the same amount, tomorrow, too.

Next Stop -- Menlo Park. San Francisco. Menlo Park. San Francisco. Menlo Park. San Francisco.


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