Seeing old friends can be a powerful thing. Old memories come flooding to the surface, surging and receding, surging and receding, whirling in little eddies of our consciousness, until the whole tidal soup threatens to bowl us over and suck us down in its nostalgic undertow. I call this the Red Tide of Memory. Why? Because even though we all surf its comforting ebb and flow from time to time, experience has taught us not to harvest shellfish while it's running. That's why.
Oddly resonant maritime metaphors aside, howzabout that photograph up there at the top? Using sophisticated time-lapse techniques and an electrostatic f-stop, p-funk shutter-nubbin (Radio Shack part number: AZ473-003X, size large), we were able to capture the many faces of Azlina as they undulated seductively before us. Never before have human eyes gazed upon the wily shape-changer without experiencing either an uncontrollable desire to serve Goddesss Azlina or a real hankering for some convenience store nachos. Studies have been unable to pinpoint the exact gene that will determine your response. We'll keep you posted as events unfold.
| Extreme events have been markedly absent the past few days as I ply my trade in the soft-walled village of my employer. So, instead, we present you with some carefully-selected Workplace Oddities. First up is Fast Eddy the Chin. Fast Eddy started out as "Ed -- A Technical Writer," but things happened, man. During the noted GUI wars of the early nineties, Eddie sided up with the Macintosh boys and their notoriously violent ways. Before he knew it, he was a full-on wheel in their family. An enforcer. A made man, who wasn't afraid to slip a beta date or write hypertext help files in an ASCII editor if it meant protecting his cause. His capacity for wrongdoing and his reserves of evil are legend in these parts. Now, he's my boss. Mi papa. And that's the clearest picture you'll ever see of him, too -- once he made it to the top, he had a permanent shadow surgically attached to his head. Mad, bad, dangerous to know -- that's Fast Eddy the Chin. He makes good baklava, too. |  |
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Another of Ed's "employees" is Ania. Ania fell victim to a horribly disfiguring workplace accident back in '92. She'd been working long hours on a revolutionary new heuristic product called the "Expert Morphmaster Pro," designed to mix and match the best attributes of corporate "soft resources" (people, that is). Unfortunately for Ania, she was asked to come up with a slogan for the product. Shortly after the cognitive spark that produced the eventual motto -- "New solutions for proactively leveraging your core competencies while incenting productivity in those tasked to succeed. Total Quality, too." -- her head fused itself to two nearby computer monitors. Despite the efforts of the best plastic surgeons, the monitors remained where they are to this day -- welded onto the sides of her head. Ania reports that they have made romantic life a tad difficult, but she is persevering and has recently scored dates with an erector set and Mr. Potato Head. Endeavor and endure, Ania! |
Due to the lack of extremities today (yes, I have no arms or legs), we replace the Extreme Shot of the Day with the Extreme Sink Shot. When things get boring, you can always count on Otto for a little excitement -- even it it's in the sink. Check out the stove and coffee pot, too!
Total Miles for 6/25 = 91.